WHAT MIKE SAW

Miss Cebu Beauty Pageant Audition

Every guy enjoys feeling like a stud.  Any boost to our self esteems, especially as we grow OLDER, gives us that extra jolt of much needed TESTOSTERONE.  But once in a while, you might find yourself in an extra ordinary situation that is too good to be true.   A couple of years ago while hanging out at an outdoor bar in Cebu, I found myself in one of those situations.  I almost felt like a George Clooney, or a Matt Damon, or a JUSTIN BIEBER.  I was that manly.  Plus the situation gave me much needed confidence after I got myself a botched $5 haircut.

So here’s what happened.  A few of my friends and I were mesmerized by the magic of a local magician who made rounds to all the people sitting at tables.  He was doing David Blaine type magic tricks.  Even though I’m more of a CRISS ANGEL fan myself, this guy was pretty entertaining.  He even did that one trick that David Blaine does where he pulls thread out of his stomach.  That’s great and all but it just didn’t have the same mystique as Cris Angel’s levitation MASTERPIECE.

Anyways, while being completely enthralled with the Filipino David Blaine, I here a voice call my name in the distance.  ”Mike!”  Knowing that I have a very common name, I didn’t bother to turn my head.  Not with the amazingness going on right in front of me.

Then I here the same voice again, but this time they said, “Hey Mike!  Mike from L.A!”  This time I knew it had to be me they were calling out so I turn my head.  I could hardly believe my eyes.  Before me in the distance were about 5-6 very beautiful, very stacked, Filipina girls dressed quite provocatively.

I walked over to them as cool as the stud I thought I was.  I probably looked more like URKEL, but whatever.  These chicks were calling out my name.  As I get up to them, they all introduce themselves to me.  They were acting like giddy, 16-year-old high school girls.  It  was pretty awesome.

I sat down with the group of them to have a drink.  One by one, they introduce themselves to me.  Where they are from, how old they are, and their occupation.  It was very innocent and friendly.  But and as time goes by and as the drinks go down, they all begin to loosen up.  I mean really loosen up.  As one girl had the courage (for some reason) to show me her breast implants, they all begin to show me their breasts implants.  I couldn’t believe it.  They actually pulled each boob out of their shirt in the middle of this bar as if I’m there to judge them.  I actually felt really ashamed to tell you the truth. I was in so much shock, I didn’t even have the mental capacity to think of pulling out my video camera.  I’m sure they would have loved some camera time.

Then the party really started.  After getting my own personal boob show, they began making me touch their boobs by grabbing my hand and placing it accordingly.  It had to be one of the most surreal moments of my entire life.  One of them even tried to shove my face into her bosom.  That’s when I thought to myself, “Okay, these are definitely prostitutes.  I’m out of here”.  Read the rest of my awesomely bizarre experience after the video below.

CLICK TO WATCH

http://www.vimeo.com/8180252

So I actually stuck around for a while because as time went by, my totally scrambled brain began to rewire itself and I was back to earth.  I figured I could make a documentary about one of them so I told my friends who were stuck watching the Filipino David Blaine to come over and experience this with me.  But when I turned my head, I saw that they had already been watching.  They looked hysterical laughing at the situation I was in.  I told them to come over anyway.  One of my friends slowly walks over to me.  When he gets to my side, I whisper in his ear that I know that these girls are women of the night and that I’m not doing anything with them.  But he shakes his head and whispers back to me with a big smile on his face, “Hey dude, these are dudes.”

Tags: Beauty Pageant, Cebu, Criss Angel, David Blaine, Justin Bieber, Levitation, Luke Perry, Philippines, Swimsuit Competition, The Filipino Channel, What Mike Saw