I don’t understand why Segways aren’t more of a phenomenon than they should be. Back in 2000, I saw a news feature on these innovative machines and I thought to myself, “The future has finally arrived!” I went out and quickly invested my life savings on what I thought was the wave of the future. I was an outspoken advocate for Segways and was out there spreading the word. Instead of walking to the park, why not Segway to the park. Plus you can roll over grass, dirt, and even feces without getting your shoes dirty. BTW, back then I was also a SNEAKER freak. So Segways gave me that advantage of keeping my shoes clean at all times.
Nearly a decade later, I have learned that this is just the beginning. I see Segways everywhere. Airport security, mall COPS, and even MOTHERS can be seen on Segways. It’s a miracle! If it took 10 years to get this far, imagine what 2020 will look like. Segway firefighters? Segway puppies? Segway at the X GAYMES? I like where this is heading.
I may have had a slight hand in the Segway Blowup. Four years ago I created a commercial for Segway as a marketing ploy geared for a certain demographic. It’s a bit French New Wave but I think it makes a statement for today’s working man.
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Posted 9 months, 3 weeks ago at 12:46 PM. 7 comments
Before a single follicle on your upper lip can be considered a MUSTACHE, before the cracks in your rough and scratchy voice can be sealed, and before those hairs on your nipple are considered legit, you must become a man. There comes a time in every boy’s life when he must make a major decision. This decision makes up whether or not this boy will stay a boy, or move on to the next level. But the task at hand varies from culture to culture, which legitimizes ones entry into manhood. The Jews celebrate a boy’s bar mitzvah for his transition. In Ethiopia, boys walk on top of cows’ backs naked for their transition. And here in America, every boy must know how to rewire their cable boxes to get free SPICE before they make the jump into manhood.
In the Philippines, I’m not exactly sure what path one must take in order to be free from boyhood. But I may have created a great method of creating men out of boys. I wouldn’t necessarily call the BALUT a delicacy. It’s practically street food since you can get it at any random street corner in the Philippines. And if you’re like me who prefers the street version of anything (tacos, ghetto dogs, cotton candy) then you are sure to love the balut. You may even consider it tastier than sunny side up. And more fun to eat as well.
Most people are unfamiliar with the balut. It’s basically a duck egg only a couple of weeks old. Give that thing a few more days and the bird would crack out of its shell. But the incubation process is shorted by which the balut is created. So when the shell is opened, you essentially see a bird that was almost ready to burst open to hatch.
Last year, I thought it would be fun to bring a couple of baluts to my friend’s house who was hosting the PACQUIAO/DE LA HOYA fight. In honor of Pac-Man, three people were up for the feast. Little did I know that when I bought the eggs from my neighborhood Filipino store Seafood City, they had to be boiled first. I literally thought you could pick up the eggs off the shelf and eat it right then and there. In the video below, you will literally see the evolution into manhood right before your very eyes. Not to mention the defeat of salmonella or any other egg infested disease that could have been acquired. If you ever see a balut as shown in the video below, know that it is NOT supposed to look like that. These guys really could have gotten sick.
This one’s dedicated to Manny. I wish him luck because he’ll need it. Anyone who has been following 24/7 on HBO knows this may be his toughest battle yet. And he needs to stop messing around with corrupt politicians so that he can focus on fighting.
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Posted 9 months, 4 weeks ago at 8:37 PM. 9 comments
I have finally gotten over my flu that ailed me and kept me bed ridden for about 2 weeks. It was a horrible ordeal and I hope that I never suffer through anything like that again. I felt like I was 10 years old. In that time in bed, I was able catch up on some good MOVIES I had missed and a little bit of television here and there. I suppose that is the single best thing about being sick. But over time, I paid less and less attention to the movies I had rented and couldn’t help but stay fixated on one channel. And by the title of this posting, you should know what I’m talking about: The Filipino Channel, or what is known in most Flip households, TFC.
Obviously you won’t find TFC in most homes because you have to pay anywhere from $10 to $20 a month to get that one channel. But I do notice many Filipino bahays I go to subscribe to it. I have TFC because I use it as a source to learn the national dialect of Tagalog. That and Youtube are my number one language learning tools and I encourage anyone who really wants to learn do the same.
“Hoy! Kumasta pare? Puede bang mag tanong? Saan nag Santa Monica Blvd? Dito? Sige, Salamat pare! Hoy Jun-Jun! Tayo na. Santa Monica Blvd ang direcho.”
See? I doubt the spelling is correct and I know there are some grammatical errors in the transcription above but I just pulled that off the top of my head. Plus that’s coming from a Fil-Am who didn’t have many Filipino friends growing up and English was the primary language spoken in the house. If any Filipino was spoken, it was either Cebuano or Illocano, which are two completely different dialects than Tagalog. I guess you can say I was a confused child. But I can now thank Youtube and TFC for helping me learn.
I have been traveling back and forth to the Philippines a lot lately for a number of reasons. But it was one trip that I took two years ago that created an awakened fascination inside me with the Philippines. What was supposed to be a one-month business trip evolved into a seven-month exploration, examination, and education of my roots and heritage. I witnessed the good, the bad, and the ugly. I experienced everything from the most pristine, untouched beaches, to the ghetto ass, dangerous barangays where I had no business of being. I seriously saw it all.
And this is where I have my problems about TFC. Although TFC is only one channel provided for us Fil-Ams in the states, it is a good representation of the overall media in the Philippines. But, it is not a good representation of the country itself. Because I use it as a learning tool, I spent most of my time just trying to decipher what was being said instead of following any story line. But as time passed, I began to understand the content.
I can sum up most of the television shows in the Philippines with in one word: Garbage. It’s not to say that there is no quality programming because there are many educational, interesting, and hilarious television shows that exist. Unfortunately the overly dramatic and excessively crying soap operas that litter homes of the Filipino people overshadow them. Please please please stop with the crying already! It’s generally understood throughout the country that if a Filipino movie or television show has no crying, it’s not quality. You must cry on cue if you’re a good actor. Sure it’s a great quality to have as an actor, but by doing so every single damn time in almost everything you do completely loses all value. But the worst part of it all is when life imitate art. We don’t need people crying all the time feeling sorry for themselves. And I ‘m afraid that’s exactly what has happened.
There is a very popular show called Wowowee. As far as I’m concerned, that show along with its host WILLIE, is a cancer to the country. The show is essentially a variety/game show with plenty of inappropriate dancing and off key singing performances by Willie. On the surface, it looks like the show is doing something really charitable for the countries poor people because they give away money so freely. Willie gives a show participant the platform to tell their sob story, which is usually followed by tears of sadness. It’s very formulaic and you will never ever ever get through an entire episode of Wowowee without at least two people crying.
In my opinion, the show does exactly what many of the political leaders, especially the corrupt ones, want out of a Filipino show. And that is to dumb down the people. And what happens when you dumb down a significant portion of the population? You stay in control of the people. Ignorance is never bliss. Ignorance only hurts.
A Filipino director named Brilliante Mendoza won the Prix de la Mise en Scene at the 2009 Cannes Film Festival for his film Kinatay. The film is about a man who takes a job for $2000 as a hit man so that he can afford to marry his girlfriend. That kind of story line is a long cry from what the average Filipino is used to seeing. Mendoza was praised and celebrated in the Philippines for bringing such a prestigious award to the country. The tragic part of this is that no movie theater anywhere in the country can show his work or anything he’s done in the past because of its graphic content.
So my objective here is not to bastardize the country I love, but to rather spread truth. There is a lot of beauty within the country but there is also lot that needs to be said about the condition of its people, politics, and identity. On the Real TFC, you will meet true Filipinos with real stories. So I would like to introduce “The Real TFC” with two videos where I started my journey. Boracay is the defining destination for Filipino paradise for many foreigners traveling to the Philippines. I had a great time visiting a close friend who grew up with me and now lives there. The first video really shows how awesome and relaxing Boracay is. The second video showcases a subculture of the Philippines that is widely accepted throughout the country, but is quite disturbing to me.
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Posted 10 months ago at 1:39 PM. 8 comments
I’m a WEST COAST BRO so I get to see my share of eccentric, lavish beauty out here. I know that everyone has his or her own definition of what a beauty is and I too have my own definition. But here in Los Angeles, I see many different types of freakish beauty running around town.
Starting in East LA, we’ve got the Cholo. These usually are known as gang bangers but to me, they look really awesome. They tend to wear pretty nice oversized clothes, have shaved heads, their eyebrows look like sperms, and they have mean looking tattoos all over their faces. One thing they can change is their attitude. That particular look would be a lot cooler if they knew how to love one another more than knowing how to hate each other.
Now we’re going to go about 12 miles west to Beverly Hills where the freakishly beautiful are most apparent. These are the people you see on reality TV with oversized lips and plenty of hair plugs. These people know how to transform themselves into an Adonis over time and it’s really great to see someone succumb to the beneficial effects of vanity.
And finally we’ll take a trip all the way out to the ocean. Venice Beach is home to plenty of freaks, or as they like to be called, hippies. But there is a particular type of beauty in Venice that sticks out to me. Sometimes if you’re lucky and get too close, it can stick out right into your mouth. DREAD LOCKS. It takes a special person to not wash their hair over long periods of time allowing bacteria, germs, and kittens to procreate within their head.
Halloween just passed and we always see plenty of awesomeness on Halloween. Everyone loves Halloween. But I love it for a different reason. It marks the end of a long exhaustive summer and is the beginning stages of my favorite holiday: CHRISTMAS. I just love receiving presents, especially if they’re expensive. So the video below is not so much a Halloween video, but homage to my favorite Holiday.
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Posted 10 months, 1 week ago at 12:57 PM. 13 comments
Just as HUEY LEWIS did with MARTY MCFLY, we’re going “back in time”. We’re going back to a simpler time when it was okay to be passed out drunk in the streets while your friends mock you. Back to a time when it was sanitary to scam on random girls you meet in a crappy bar. Back to a time when sporting a MULLET was okay and you wouldn’t be ridiculed for having one. Fortunately we all had to grow out of that phase of our lives and even though those were great times, we should be glad they’re over.
What Mike Saw #11, which is a more current representation of the times, will be made next week but before we visit the new era, we must take a look back at part of a decade that seems ages ago. For those of you in this, I’m sure that you don’t even remember these particular moments in your lives. But hopefully these memories do come back and hopefully you won’t be too embarrassed by them.
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Posted 10 months, 2 weeks ago at 12:28 PM. 7 comments
Posted 10 months, 2 weeks ago at 11:41 AM. 9 comments
Being a world-class fashion photographer, I often find it extremely difficult to get the shots I need. My POSSE and I tend to attract a lot of attention and even though I try to be as polite as possible to passers by, you sometimes need to be a jerk if you’re ever going to get anything done. We don’t mind the crowds as long as they stay behind the camera. But once they find out a TIGER BEAT photographer is in their midst, people begin to act giddy and playful.
There’s no situation more apparent than when I took one of my favorite models Pito (AKA LAKAH FAN 69) to Santorini for a day of high fashion modeling. I wanted to take advantage of the beautiful light as much as possible but as you can see in the photos below, nature won.
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Posted 10 months, 2 weeks ago at 11:57 AM. 2 comments
Five years ago, a boy stepped onto an airplane for the very first time in life and as soon as he stepped off, a Tiger was born. A Tiger with the heart of a STALLION. This Tiger felt the hunger most world travelers never experience. Tiger dove straight into the world of an “immersionist”. He wouldn’t eat at the fancy restaurants. He only drank WINE. Not a single word of English was spoken. Just really jacked up Catalan. Esta noche bailamos? Of course. Only the lovely and poetic words of an admirer can truly encapsulate the essence of this Tiger’s beauty.
Dear Pito,
You are a hero imprisoned because of all the new crimes that you are perfecting.
Like millions of your fans around the world, I can’t help quoting you because everything that you said rings true. And now in my cell, well I followed you. And here’s a list of who I slew. Jon Mora - do you know my name ? Oh, don’t say you don’t. Please say you do, oh, oh, oh, you are the last of the famous. International Boyzone!
That’s correct. Boyzone has struck again after a five year hiatus. The small and quaint town of Santorini will never be the same again. But before we follow on Pito’s quest for the Greek Adonis, we must travel back to the beginning when Boyzone first started. This video took place in the summer of 2004. After hanging out in Paris for a week drinking in the streets and harassing a salon owner, Boyzone took a trip to Barcelona. Boyzone in Santorini coming soon
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Posted 10 months, 3 weeks ago at 11:27 AM. 4 comments
I’ve been sick at home for several days now. I was a bit worried I may have contracted the H1N1 virus considering I just got back from Mexico City. But that wasn’t the case thank Jah. I just got viral gastroenteritis. I have two theories of where I may have acquired it. I either got it eating at a restaurant in Mexico, or a late night binge at Carl’s Jr. the night after. The only other meals I had within this time was at Chipotle and a home cooked meal my tender prepared for me; both of which I highly doubt caused me this living hell.
So all I do is watch the Filipino Channel all day and overdose on Gatorade and chicken soup. I’ve lost a load of weight and considering I just recently came off a master cleanse, I kind of look how I did back in high school during the RAVER days.
The video below is of another time when I got really sick. I love fine wines and since Boones Farm is my absolute favorite beverage, one of my best friends (and ambiguous lover) Brian and I tried to get sponsored by them. The objective: to drink as many bottles of Boones Farm possible. The results are documented below. You can probably guess how they responded after seeing this.
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Posted 10 months, 3 weeks ago at 9:46 PM. 7 comments
I have reservations about helping homeless people. I wasn’t always this way. Back when I used to SKATE, my friends and I would hang out with bums all the time. Not only were we using them for entertainment, homeless people for the most part were pretty neat. A lot of them actually had talents like singing or breaking parking meters so we found them quite useful.
But as I got older driving around town, I notice the same homeless people at the same street corners every day. And every time, I see these “Good Samaritans” offer up some change. One particular time, there was this male prostitute begging for money and then handing it over to this big black dude, who I’m assuming is his pimp.
But I think the final straw for me was seeing this report on beggars on the local news. These guys can make up to $20-40 an hour, depending on the area. No wonder they are lazy! They’re making more than the majority of Americans by just sitting there with a sign with some pathetic look plastered on their face! Screw that. At least collect plastic bottles like the immigrants who risk their lives coming here for an honest wage.
Anyway, while hanging out in Athens with my shorty, we saw this little kid pointing his laser pen into peoples’ eyes. It was pretty funny. But after observing him for a while, it got a little sad.
As he walked around with poo smelling clothes and holy shoes, the novelty of this kid blinding people with his laser quickly wore off. I do see poor people every day living in Los Angeles. I used to live near skin row when downtown was still trying to come up and I saw some crazy things out there. Boning prostitutes in the streets, drug deals in the portables, bum fights over sleeping bags and so on. But witnessing a kid living in this state is pretty depressing. These gypsy kids were born into it.
In this slice of life, you will see this boy pickpocket somebody. It happens really fast so don’t blink. He’s good.
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Posted 10 months, 4 weeks ago at 12:06 AM. 9 comments
