WHAT MIKE SAW

Bromance On A Segway

I don’t understand why Segways aren’t more of a phenomenon than they should be. Back in 2000, I saw a news feature on these innovative machines and I thought to myself, “The future has finally arrived!” I went out and quickly invested my life savings on what I thought was the wave of the future. I was an outspoken advocate for Segways and was out there spreading the word. Instead of walking to the park, why not Segway to the park. Plus you can roll over grass, dirt, and even feces without getting your shoes dirty. BTW, back then I was also a SNEAKER freak. So Segways gave me that advantage of keeping my shoes clean at all times.

Nearly a decade later, I have learned that this is just the beginning. I see Segways everywhere. Airport security, mall COPS, and even MOTHERS can be seen on Segways. It’s a miracle! If it took 10 years to get this far, imagine what 2020 will look like. Segway firefighters? Segway puppies? Segway at the X GAYMES? I like where this is heading.

I may have had a slight hand in the Segway Blowup. Four years ago I created a commercial for Segway as a marketing ploy geared for a certain demographic. It’s a bit French New Wave but I think it makes a statement for today’s working man.

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What Mike Saw #8: 12/18/06

Just as HUEY LEWIS did with MARTY MCFLY, we’re going “back in time”. We’re going back to a simpler time when it was okay to be passed out drunk in the streets while your friends mock you. Back to a time when it was sanitary to scam on random girls you meet in a crappy bar. Back to a time when sporting a MULLET was okay and you wouldn’t be ridiculed for having one. Fortunately we all had to grow out of that phase of our lives and even though those were great times, we should be glad they’re over.

What Mike Saw #11, which is a more current representation of the times, will be made next week but before we visit the new era, we must take a look back at part of a decade that seems ages ago. For those of you in this, I’m sure that you don’t even remember these particular moments in your lives. But hopefully these memories do come back and hopefully you won’t be too embarrassed by them.

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Basketball At Work

Oh ANONYMOUS CONTENT how I miss thee. You were probably the greatest 9-5 job anyone could ask for. No matter how late I came in, you were there to greet me with a huge smile. Often times, my vault buddies or even myself wouldn’t come in weeks at a time you still embraced us with open arms.

You kept us plump and healthy with your overstocked pantries full of delectable treats like granola bars, trail mix, candy, and even cup cakes. And then when it was lunch time, you fed us with a meal so large we often couldn’t finish leaving us with an entire meal for dinner.

To tell you the truth, we stayed even after our shifts were over. You know why? We loved your selection of large conference rooms stacked with the greatest audio equipment with matching flat screen television. NBA? Of course. Wimbledon? No problem. Spice? You betcha.

I honestly can’t think of one thing I did not like about you Anonymous Content. Your pay kinda sucked but it was well worth it. So with that, I leave you with this. My tribute to you Anonymous Content and how I productively used my time.

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