Every guy enjoys feeling like a stud. Any boost to our self esteems, especially as we grow OLDER, gives us that extra jolt of much needed TESTOSTERONE. But once in a while, you might find yourself in an extra ordinary situation that is too good to be true. A couple of years ago while hanging out at an outdoor bar in Cebu, I found myself in one of those situations. I almost felt like a George Clooney, or a Matt Damon, or a JUSTIN BIEBER. I was that manly. Plus the situation gave me much needed confidence after I got myself a botched $5 haircut.
So here’s what happened. A few of my friends and I were mesmerized by the magic of a local magician who made rounds to all the people sitting at tables. He was doing David Blaine type magic tricks. Even though I’m more of a CRISS ANGEL fan myself, this guy was pretty entertaining. He even did that one trick that David Blaine does where he pulls thread out of his stomach. That’s great and all but it just didn’t have the same mystique as Cris Angel’s levitation MASTERPIECE.
Anyways, while being completely enthralled with the Filipino David Blaine, I here a voice call my name in the distance. ”Mike!” Knowing that I have a very common name, I didn’t bother to turn my head. Not with the amazingness going on right in front of me.
Then I here the same voice again, but this time they said, “Hey Mike! Mike from L.A!” This time I knew it had to be me they were calling out so I turn my head. I could hardly believe my eyes. Before me in the distance were about 5-6 very beautiful, very stacked, Filipina girls dressed quite provocatively.
I walked over to them as cool as the stud I thought I was. I probably looked more like URKEL, but whatever. These chicks were calling out my name. As I get up to them, they all introduce themselves to me. They were acting like giddy, 16-year-old high school girls. It was pretty awesome.
I sat down with the group of them to have a drink. One by one, they introduce themselves to me. Where they are from, how old they are, and their occupation. It was very innocent and friendly. But and as time goes by and as the drinks go down, they all begin to loosen up. I mean really loosen up. As one girl had the courage (for some reason) to show me her breast implants, they all begin to show me their breasts implants. I couldn’t believe it. They actually pulled each boob out of their shirt in the middle of this bar as if I’m there to judge them. I actually felt really ashamed to tell you the truth. I was in so much shock, I didn’t even have the mental capacity to think of pulling out my video camera. I’m sure they would have loved some camera time.
Then the party really started. After getting my own personal boob show, they began making me touch their boobs by grabbing my hand and placing it accordingly. It had to be one of the most surreal moments of my entire life. One of them even tried to shove my face into her bosom. That’s when I thought to myself, “Okay, these are definitely prostitutes. I’m out of here”. Read the rest of my awesomely bizarre experience after the video below.
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Posted 2 months, 2 weeks ago at 10:40 PM. 8 comments
I have finally gotten over my flu that ailed me and kept me bed ridden for about 2 weeks. It was a horrible ordeal and I hope that I never suffer through anything like that again. I felt like I was 10 years old. In that time in bed, I was able catch up on some good MOVIES I had missed and a little bit of television here and there. I suppose that is the single best thing about being sick. But over time, I paid less and less attention to the movies I had rented and couldn’t help but stay fixated on one channel. And by the title of this posting, you should know what I’m talking about: The Filipino Channel, or what is known in most Flip households, TFC.
Obviously you won’t find TFC in most homes because you have to pay anywhere from $10 to $20 a month to get that one channel. But I do notice many Filipino bahays I go to subscribe to it. I have TFC because I use it as a source to learn the national dialect of Tagalog. That and Youtube are my number one language learning tools and I encourage anyone who really wants to learn do the same.
“Hoy! Kumasta pare? Puede bang mag tanong? Saan nag Santa Monica Blvd? Dito? Sige, Salamat pare! Hoy Jun-Jun! Tayo na. Santa Monica Blvd ang direcho.”
See? I doubt the spelling is correct and I know there are some grammatical errors in the transcription above but I just pulled that off the top of my head. Plus that’s coming from a Fil-Am who didn’t have many Filipino friends growing up and English was the primary language spoken in the house. If any Filipino was spoken, it was either Cebuano or Illocano, which are two completely different dialects than Tagalog. I guess you can say I was a confused child. But I can now thank Youtube and TFC for helping me learn.
I have been traveling back and forth to the Philippines a lot lately for a number of reasons. But it was one trip that I took two years ago that created an awakened fascination inside me with the Philippines. What was supposed to be a one-month business trip evolved into a seven-month exploration, examination, and education of my roots and heritage. I witnessed the good, the bad, and the ugly. I experienced everything from the most pristine, untouched beaches, to the ghetto ass, dangerous barangays where I had no business of being. I seriously saw it all.
And this is where I have my problems about TFC. Although TFC is only one channel provided for us Fil-Ams in the states, it is a good representation of the overall media in the Philippines. But, it is not a good representation of the country itself. Because I use it as a learning tool, I spent most of my time just trying to decipher what was being said instead of following any story line. But as time passed, I began to understand the content.
I can sum up most of the television shows in the Philippines with in one word: Garbage. It’s not to say that there is no quality programming because there are many educational, interesting, and hilarious television shows that exist. Unfortunately the overly dramatic and excessively crying soap operas that litter homes of the Filipino people overshadow them. Please please please stop with the crying already! It’s generally understood throughout the country that if a Filipino movie or television show has no crying, it’s not quality. You must cry on cue if you’re a good actor. Sure it’s a great quality to have as an actor, but by doing so every single damn time in almost everything you do completely loses all value. But the worst part of it all is when life imitate art. We don’t need people crying all the time feeling sorry for themselves. And I ‘m afraid that’s exactly what has happened.
There is a very popular show called Wowowee. As far as I’m concerned, that show along with its host WILLIE, is a cancer to the country. The show is essentially a variety/game show with plenty of inappropriate dancing and off key singing performances by Willie. On the surface, it looks like the show is doing something really charitable for the countries poor people because they give away money so freely. Willie gives a show participant the platform to tell their sob story, which is usually followed by tears of sadness. It’s very formulaic and you will never ever ever get through an entire episode of Wowowee without at least two people crying.
In my opinion, the show does exactly what many of the political leaders, especially the corrupt ones, want out of a Filipino show. And that is to dumb down the people. And what happens when you dumb down a significant portion of the population? You stay in control of the people. Ignorance is never bliss. Ignorance only hurts.
A Filipino director named Brilliante Mendoza won the Prix de la Mise en Scene at the 2009 Cannes Film Festival for his film Kinatay. The film is about a man who takes a job for $2000 as a hit man so that he can afford to marry his girlfriend. That kind of story line is a long cry from what the average Filipino is used to seeing. Mendoza was praised and celebrated in the Philippines for bringing such a prestigious award to the country. The tragic part of this is that no movie theater anywhere in the country can show his work or anything he’s done in the past because of its graphic content.
So my objective here is not to bastardize the country I love, but to rather spread truth. There is a lot of beauty within the country but there is also lot that needs to be said about the condition of its people, politics, and identity. On the Real TFC, you will meet true Filipinos with real stories. So I would like to introduce “The Real TFC” with two videos where I started my journey. Boracay is the defining destination for Filipino paradise for many foreigners traveling to the Philippines. I had a great time visiting a close friend who grew up with me and now lives there. The first video really shows how awesome and relaxing Boracay is. The second video showcases a subculture of the Philippines that is widely accepted throughout the country, but is quite disturbing to me.
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Posted 4 months, 1 week ago at 1:39 PM. 8 comments
